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Saturday, March 23, 2002
oh, and i guess it didn't publish before, so i'll do it again: I went out to dinner with my mom, and saw Katherine Benko and her parents there. Katherine. Nicky�s big sister, Special K the counselor, Katherine. How weird. She�s all� grown up. Completely. Out of college, out of graduate school. An adult. I guess she was pretty big at camp, but still, she was a big kid. She used to baby-sit me. Hell, she used to baby-sit Jesse. And now� an adult. In one year� I may know where I�m going to college. We really are growing up, huh?  take free enneagram test that one is very similar to number nine, though, i think, and i think i may be closer to that. they both work, though:  take free enneagram test
I had lunch, and i'm not really hungry anymore. but what i really, really want right now... *drools* what i want right now is this. a Chocolate Peanut Butter Dream Cake. And if you saw the picture, too... my god. really, i think it'd be really cool to make a cake like that. it'd be fun. and it would TASTE SO GOOD!!! gah. It'd also be cool to try Cappuccino Decadence Cheesecake and Chocolate Mint Decadence. MMMMM!!! i'm in a chocolate mood. i'm in a chocolate insanity!
It's been quite a good couple of days. The history test went quite well, actually, and the rest of the day was a breeze, complete with a lovely swim and good time spent working out in the cardio room. I really like that place. Then i went home and vegged, because it's spring break! Which is fabulous. Later that night, I went over to the lovely Roach's house, so that her, Kaelan and I could wake up disgustingly early this morning and go see Rachel row, which we did. It was a lot of fun, and the people are very cool, and i think i actually got a bit of a tan. ok, so maybe a burn, but still, i look like i haven't spent three years hidden in a closet, so it's all good. we had to leave before Rachel's second race, but she did great on the first, so it's cool. Maybe we can go again later. So with the party, a good last day of school, and a pleasant day today, spring break seems pretty great so far, except one little thing, but that's ok (i hate being a girl sometimes). I just need to figure out my custody schedule (stupid Jewish holidays with Mom thing is fucking me over) and figure out rides to rehearsals and such, and it should be cool. Thursday, March 21, 2002
I went to the party tonight. I don't know how my mother let me go, or Shannon's for that matter, but she came over, studied with me and roach, and drove me to northridge. i'm so glad i went. glad she got to meet them and stuff, and glad i got to see those people. mara was awesome as always. marwane was the sweetest guy in the world. really. it's weird how nice he can be. malcolm was... endearing, actually. so jealous of college kids. but that's ok. weird thing, though. a lot of them had just broken up with people. mara and adam, which is weird, but i bet they'll get back. marwane and abbe, but that's probably best for him, once he stops being sad. and maggie and kaveh? psychotic. maybe they'll get back... but i don't know. and amber and jon. and even rachel and byron, though i've only met her twice and him only once, but still, they've been going out longer than any highschool relationship i've ever heard of. it's all so weird. but i'm so glad i went. it was much needed. i really did study, but i know that none of it's going to help because of the way Bravman asks questions, even multiple choice. but i wouldn't have studied anymore if i hadn't gone, and it was definitely worth it. i had a very good night.
I had a vision of Natalie's future while I was watching 'Our Town'. I know what's going to happen to her when she grows up. She's going to be starring in a show after college, and she's going to fall in love with the leading boy, who of course will play her love interest. And the two of them will date, and fall madly in love, and she will just be happy all through the show. And then it will open, and it will run for a few weeks. And during one of the shows, they will be doing a scene, and he will suddenly stop what he's saying. And Natalie will get worried, thinking he's forgotten his lines, and she will become worried. And then suddenly, he will look at her, and say "I can't take it any more." And he will get down on one knee, and take out a ring, and ask her to marry him. And she will get the hugest grin on her face, and shreik loudly, and they will hug and kiss and the whole audience will go insane. And of course, they will live happily ever after.
Once in a Lifetime - Talking Heads And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack {Refrain} And you may ask yourself, how do I work this {Refrain} Same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was Water dissolving, and water removing {Refrain} {Refrain} And you may ask yourself, what is that beautiful house {Refrain} {Refrain}
Shae is cool. i wish i knew her better. and i wish i could be her. i only met her the once, huh? weird.
i turned in my research paper. so even if it wasn't done... too bad. it's done. and i feel much better. Wednesday, March 20, 2002
i did it. i may have even finished. i think i did. not only that, but i managed to go out and buy some new pants and a rather cute skirt. don't have any "athletic wear", though. not even my camoflouge pants (paintballing is totally a sport), they're at my dad's. hmm. oh, well. i think a lot of pressure is lifted now. i'm done with my research paper. not the most fabulous piece of writing, but done. i still have a history test on friday, but mostly, it's spring break. in spanish, all we did was watch Carmen. in math, we have a rather easy project that me, Willa, and Maureen will be done with early tomorrow in class, and we have a free period on friday. physics test was moved from tomorrow to after spring break, so the rest of the week should be the normal joke that class is. fitness still sucks my ass, but i actually got a good workout today, complete with good music and no core, so maybe i can survive that for the next two days. i think that's my week. so it's just this fucking history test. but i can probably handle it. right? hehe, peachy's being a very curious cat right now. he just attacked the trash bag in the kitchen, knocking it over and making something of a mess, and then stuck his head into the bag of my new jeans, and now he's switching between that and the closet. hehe, cute boy. it's only 9:45, but i'm thinking of heading off to sleep right now. i've been in such a weird place this week. but maybe now it'll get better.
"Out of the blue, a delivery guy came to my door with pickles and ice cream." a commercial just said that? ok, if someone randomly showed up at my house with these two items, i would be a bit worried, no? but maybe it's just me...
OK. if i finish my research paper tonight, maybe mom will let me go to the party tomorrow night. and then again, maybe she won't. she almost definitely won't. and then again, i don't know if i'm going to finish my research paper tonight. but i can try!! i just need to get offline and actually do it. i do feel a bit redeemed, though, because i am online researching college. This place is beginning to look really good. Not sure, though, but it seems cool.
"Today was gonna be the day? But they'll never throw it back to you By now you should've somehow Realized what you're not to do I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do About you now And all the roads that lead you there were winding I said maybe I said maybe Said maybe ~ Wonderwall, by Oasis
Again, I don�t know what�s come over me. I fell asleep in the middle of my Spanish homework last night. Literally. I was lying on my bed, but not in it, you know? Lying on my stomach with my books open in front of me, my legs in the air. And suddenly I couldn't hold my head up, and it fell down, right in the center of my Spanish book. I was asleep on my spanish homework. It was around 6 or something. This is seriously not right. At least it�s a Wednesday, and I have free first. I could sleep in a little Tuesday, March 19, 2002
hey you guys? it's really important we get a mission statement in for Guild, if for no other reason than q-dawg's getting mad at me for it. any suggestions at all e-mail him or me. please??? also, i think we need to find one for alliance. we can probably just use what it says on the poster mostly, or something. whatever.
one more thing, though. it's really fucking cold last night. oh, and i remember my dream, which hasn't happened in a long time. maybe from that conversation yesterday, about dreams. but it was odd. really really nice, but very odd. :)
I actually managed to get some work done on my research paper last night. Not a whole lot, mostly just grammar and stuff, but I did some, which was good. I don�t know why I�ve been so tired recently. Even after having a latte, I was ready to fall asleep for most of the afternoon. I would have been in bed by 9 last night if I didn�t force myself to stay up. I watched TV, a really funny comedian on Comedy Central. If I can find some of his stuff online, I�ll post it, because he had some hilarious quotes. Anyway, I ended up going to bed around 10:45. I don�t know why I�m so tired. I go to bed early, really. I don�t do enough of my homework to keep me awake, and I haven�t been going online quite as much as usual. There�s no reason. I�m just exhausted all day and night. Oh, well. Oh, and yes, Roach, I'm ok. Monday, March 18, 2002
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
my mother keeps asking me if i'm depressed. she keeps thinking i'm sad. i'm not, not in front of her. just so tired. all the time. i don't know why. Sunday, March 17, 2002
all through the episode, i just wanted to know why Ian's dad was killing people. it's weird to see that, though. the father of someone you've known for over seven years in an episode of the X-Files. weird.
me: hehe, my friends have such great vocabularies. mom: you should really work on yours, sweetie... me: mom, he's talking about a hangover. you really want me improving my vocab based on that?
the side of my face is bleeding. the smallest spot, but blood. weird. i don't like it much. oh, well.
i want time to pass so i can go to my mom's, but really, i don't. i'm bored here, yes, but one, i don't want to leave here and go back to my mom's. i love this house and everything. it's great. two, i don't want more time to be wasted doing nothing but waiting for time to pass, because by the time it has, it's just been wasted. switching houses is like "checks" in Girl, Interrupted. it's this constant reminder of how much time of your all too short life has been passed, has been wasted. oh, i'm at my mom's again, another week of life gone by. checks. at my dad's again, one more week. checks. mom's, checks. dad's, checks. it's enough to drive someone insane, yanno? and i'm torn. between waiting for these last two hours and wanting time to stand still. that and i'm bored.
if i hang out with candy, natalie, and maybe camilo and angel, it'll be cool. the girls are fun. it just sucks being the only young person. but hey, it's all good. now Uncle Marty is painting portraits of the people here. It's so incredible, what he can do. I'm very privileged to have him in my family.
so i had this girl to girl talk with natalie, which was funny. she asked if i had a secret boyfriend, and i told her of the latest aspect of that part of my life. she asked if i was sleeping with him, and when i told her, she said she was going to get me condoms. she's married to angel, emilia's son, and told me she had a huge pack at home. "an anti-family pack," she said. that really, really cracked me up. she's cool. :)
there appears to be, as of yet, no green beer. sorry, kaelan, i know you must be upset. know what, though? the person closest to my age here is camilo, who is 21. next is candy and natalie and angel. everyone else is at least 50, most much older. this isn't as entertaining as i thought...
Waw de pung yoe shiang je dow ni dzwaw ai de dze wei zhoo he. translation: "My friend wants to know how the sex was." Juih shiao, tai yoe hun how wun de ti shiang. Waw gow sue tan ni men bi shih jie hwun ying wei ni mun fa shung le gwan shi. Waw jie shiang yow gy ee yeh ching. Mei gwaw run jing chong dzrooh tsuh. Dzung gwaw run hun nan jieh show dzuh jung hwen chien gwan shee. That was your Mandarin Chinese lesson for today. Only the essentials, of course. Hope you feel smarter. NOW WAKE UP!!!!!!!
wake up, people! i got up at 6:40 this morning. usually, i can hear my alarm and go back to sleep. but i had to finish my laundry before people start coming. that and i just woke up. why does it take me over a whole day to do my laundry? oh, yeah, because i'm lazy. i want to live in an abandoned subway. how cool would that be? that was random. but again, it's early morning. yanno, i don't think i'm going to do homework this weekend. maybe when i get to mom's, but maybe not. really, all i have is the spanish test lolles let me take home and work on my research paper. but i don't really feel like doing either, yanno? ha! vanilla ice is in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II. and yes, i am watching that. hehe. he's such a dork. then again, i suppose i am, too, huh?
Won't you look down upon me Jesus You got to help me make a stand You just got to see me through another day My body's achin' and my time is at hand And I won't make it any other way...
happy st. patrick's day, by the way! a day for green and orange happiness! (and green beer, right kaelan?) i wonder who's coming to our shindig thing. i hope kenna and her brother comes. she's adorable. and i hope all of emilia's kids, including natalie, and billy and just lots of people. of course, it'd be cool if there were kids i actually knew, but maybe jesse will just have to suffice.
whine whine whine. pay attention to me, pay attention to me. but the thing is, i was lonely. i wanted attention because i was lonely. so fuck you. Thank you, Blogger.
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