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Friday, December 07, 2001
this is how my spanish essay translates into english at freetranslations: I not remembrance my first day of Marlborough, but the first day of this year was very important for my. I thought that the degree eleven would be fantastic. It felt old, and very important and upper, felt as possessed the school. I thought that MYSELF knew all about Marlborough, and that the teachers will be nice and that me would love. I knew that I had classes difficult, but was not worried. Also very it was touched because am the vice president of my class. I was a �ni�a large�. It was prepared for a magnificent year. But not it was prepared for reality. Still in the first day, my classes were difficult, and, because we were supposed to be old and, as I was so proud, supposed to know all about Marlborough, the teachers were exacting (and they are still now). Being vice president has many responsibilities. But I sit down as I know the school, and as I am finally one of the �ni�as large�. All in all, the first day of this year was important, although is not what I imagined.
So I didn�t get to go see Donny Darko. Instead, I did homework, since I have absolutely ZERO time this weekend, and a shitload of work to do. Ok, correction. I tried to do my homework, and found out that my math was, to quote Ralph Wiggum (and Rachel D) unpossible. I hate it. I don�t understand how to do any of it, and it ended up making my head near to explode, and made me want to cry. And I still need to write a Spanish essay, not to mention my entire Paradise Lost essay. I�ll try to do the Spanish now, though. Though I still don�t know when I can write the other. And I dread it so much, I know I�m going to put it off even more and end up being screwed Sunday night or something. SHIT!!!!!! From Marisa, who�s incredibly cool (and who I loe): that's just how i feel.
i feel... butch. no, i don't like that word. not right now, anyway. it's overused, anyway. i feel... strong. i like this black tank top, with my new black bra. pity it's freezing out.
i think there's something wrong with me. i feel somewhat sick, and have felt so for a while. blah. also, i got home today, and fell asleep. actually, correction. i fell asleep in the car, and then got home and collapsed on my bed for an hour or so. and since my mom wouldn't answer her phone, and picked me up at 4:10, i couldn't go on the field trip with my film class, so i missed that. the kids who couldn't go today will go next sunday, but i'll be at my dad's, a million miles away. maybe i can convince jesse to take me (and pay for me?). or maye i'll just sleep... Thursday, December 06, 2001
oh, by the way, for any of you who either weren't at school today or don't go to my school, here is what i was excited about: i dyed my hair last night. it's a red-ish color, raspberry or purple-ish wine colored, and cut it to around my chin. i like it very much.
either i am THE worst procrastinator in the world, or i'm WAY too excited about this Guerin Scholars thing. this is almost spooky. Wednesday, December 05, 2001
All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king. ~Lord of the Rings
aaaaah!!! it's still playing??? i just clicked what movies were playing in Pasadena or nearby (for when marisa's coming over, yay!), and it said that, so i clicked on it. but it says it's playing at Beverly Connection, and that confuses me greatly. of course, that would make me the happiest kiddie out there... someone confirm this? or tell me what's going on?
oh my oh my!! natalie's not going to be at school tomorrow, so i have to... *GASP* run class meeting by myself!! i'm scared! natalie e-mailed me with a list of things i have to say in addition to the normal stuff i say, and i have to be all in charge and whatnot. eeek!! *breathes* but... i can do it. yes, i can do it. it'll be ok.
whoa. i just had a rememory. the boy from next door, sean, who was many years older than me. He used to play catch with me in my backyard, or just help me practice baseball. He was the only one from that house that i knew, but he was always really nice. i think. i barely remember, except playing baseball. he was going to go, or went into the minors, i don't remember. but think about that. some person i actually know, playing minor league baseball. how weird. but i just remembered him. i haven't thought of him in many, many years. weird how stuff like that can come back.
to be or not to be... hehe, that still makes me laugh. i get too big a kick out of that... play on words, of sorts.
Yay! Yippee!! WOOHOO!!! in case you couldn't tell, i am very excited. I'm not going to tell you why yet, though, because i don't want to ruin the surprise. But I'll blog it after i get to school tomorrow. Now I can mention, however, how I have a spanish quest second period tomorrow, which i'm only mostly prepared for, and an in-class essay in history soon after, which i somewhat know, but only feel really comfortable with a half of. And I'd say i'm not at all prepared for my English essay, but, while i haven't even started it, i actually know my thesis, and it's something i came up with on my own, which i've never done before, and which might actually be original and good. So i'm happy about that. And I'm happy happy happy about this other thing! If you go to my school, you'll see tomorrow, and if not... I wish i could take pictures or something, but i guess i'll just explain it tomorrow here. Yay me!
god, we're mature. the little 7th and 8th graders don't understand the incredible comedy of this show. "That's Ren & Stimpy. They're way existential."
Mr. Pait (who looked remarkably like Gabrielle) asked me if i had blogged yet this morning. I hadn't, so i decided to. we're watching Ren and Stimpy in the computer lab right now. Laura brought it. This show fucking rocks. Tuesday, December 04, 2001
now i am tired. i'm going to sleep. yes, it's before ten. i'm going to be well rested tomorrow. don't call me tonight. because i really know you were planning on it... night night.
SIGH...
My mother is going to drive me insane. Not in the normal mother way, but in the /my/ mother way. When she started talking to me, I could feel my back tense up. I could feel pressure growing in my head. I could literally feel it, feel the muscles in my head tense up, feel a headache growing all around my skull. I wanted to scream or smash a hammer into my head. Oh, well. I have bit my nails back down to how they used to be. It�s sad, and it hurts a little, but only in the way that I now finally realize the difference. Fuck it.
After school today, I went with Natalie and Dr. Whitted to Green Set Inc., to look at and buy some decoration stuff for semi-formal. My god, that was the coolest place I have ever been to. We went into the silk room, which is this colossal warehouse where they store the trees and flowers and vines and snowmen and giant soldiers and moose and polar bears and Grecian pots and every other prop or set piece imaginable. It was one of the coolest places I�ve ever been to. It would be the most amazing thing for me, the happiest day of my life, to have, just for one day, that room as a resource, to decorate my house or school or city, or to use it for a party, or anything like that. It was incredible. I can�t explain how cool that place was. Wow. Monday, December 03, 2001
i think i'm going to go buy shoes today, if my mother wakes up. i'm done with homework, having very little. which probably means i forgot something. sure, i could work on my essay, but think about it. shoes. and on friday, i think i'm gonna dye my hair. finally.
i feel removed now. i don't fit in. but that's ok. we have money. semi-formal. we've sold bids. it should be ok. fuck, the bell. Sunday, December 02, 2001
i'm writing a story with marisa. the characters are good, and it's a good idea, i'm just having trouble putting it together. but that's what she's for, perhaps? i have an idea for where the plot can go, and she puts in details, makes it real. nice. and roach e-mailed me my other story, about Skye and her faeries. and i've been writing poems and songs. i've been feeling creative recently. how nice. of course, a lot of it comes from the fact that i don't pay attention in physics, but that's ok. :) it's helping me unlock my creativity, and shouldn't school be happy with that? i like this stuff. poems and stories and thoughts. and i'm going to wear a red bra tomorrow. don't ask where that connected. it didn't. :) i'm somewhat happy now. night night!!
*giggles* ------------------------------- You aren't sixteen, going on seventeen, Laura, you're already there. Fellows you meet May tell you you're sweet, But to Mulder they can't compare! I'd make this song longer and smarter, rhyming is so much fun. though she doesn't read this, happy birthday, laura!
Sweet Jane is another incredible movie about AIDS. With Joseph Gordon-Levitt. There are so many movies out there, and I hardly knew about any of them. But Sweet Jane is incredibly sad and good. And now Common Ground is on again. Another gay movie. Sweet Jane doesn't have gay people, though. Just AIDS. World AIDS Day is over. But AIDS is still here. Funny how that works. Thank you, Blogger.
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