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Friday, February 01, 2002
that, my friends, was kiki, who is very wise and figured out amazing things. and to prove her genius, she just said: "Shakespeare!"
"my leg is in pain. my ankle's in pain. i'm a bloody mess, and i like to complain. hey, that rhymes!"
ok, so i scrambled around all last night packing and forgetting and remembering everything i have to bring to school tomorrow, and only this morning did it hit me. I HAVE NO SLEEPING BAG!! so i'm freaking out a bit, but hopefully i can call my mom, or convince Cody to drop me by there... Thursday, January 31, 2002
i will be out of town for most of this weekend, so don't be confused if i don't post till sunday night, if at all. because i know you would all worry... i am, in fact, not even going home tomorrow. i'm going straight from school, which makes taking all my clothes and things really interesting...
Some days, my dad is so cool. We get along, because we have the same general sense of humor, and we just� agree on stuff. During the college meeting, we both whispered back and forth, joking and laughing. My mom even told us to shush. It was good. And I learned lots of interesting stuff. Like, the writing section of the SAT ii is good because it�s graded by an actual human. �Whereas the other ones,� I told my dad, �are graded by monkeys.� Lots of little stuff like that. Also, they were talking about SATs in general, and I leaned over to my father. He also suggested I take the Japanese language SAT ii. We made fun of stupid people, and just generally talked and tried to pass the time. I actually learned real stuff from the actual people talking, but I made sure to have fun, too. My dad's like that.
i haven't been feeling much recently. i mean, i'll have little emotions, little fits of crying over a sad movie, or being happy when my friends are happy, or things like that, but there's none of the usual huge emotional ups and downs i've grown somewhat used to in the past. so now there's just this... nothingness, this void of feeling where i'm not really sad, but i'm nowhere near happy or anything. i don't really know. is it just a lack of drama? am i too used to being a drama queen, getting myself into situations that i can and do tell the entire world about? though it may sound unrelated, yesterday was an annoying day. personally, i mean. as in, the day was not annoying, i was. i constantly forced my baby picture on people, i was clingy, i was all those annoying things i know better than to be. and i /did/ realize i was doing them, if not as i was doing them, then only moments after. yet it didn't stop me. and jamice... jamice is amazing and fabulous and beautiful and great. :) and it's true. but she doesn't want me writing stuff like that. so if she asks, i didn't. :) it wasn't me...
i got two hours of sleep last night. the thing is, i didn't even go online once. i meant to go to sleep pretty early, though i had to finish all the dancer notes. i did, too. it took me about an hour to write down all my notes, so that was until midnight or so. then i tried to sleep. i just... didn't. i had all these thoughts, just average normal thoughts, and when i looked at the clock, it was 3 in the morning. still couldn't/didn't sleep. i looked at the clock again, it was around 4:30. i must've fallen asleep then, because i woke up when my dad came in at 6:30 ish. it was a fun night. i'm surprisingly not so tired as i sometimes am, though. though i did almost fall asleep in spanish, and it's free now, so maybe that's what's keeping me awake. but now i'm in the computer lab, and that's where the html class is, and while i'm sure it's interesting, i don't think i can take it much longer. maybe it's a fear of realizing i'm stupid. hmm. fuck it, i'm gone... Wednesday, January 30, 2002
i woke up disgustingly early today. before 6 AM. blah. and it was very dark out, and very cold. yech. but breakfast was... decent enough. this morning, i started crying while listening to music. that's something i don't do. the weirder part is, it was a Sept. 11th song. the lyrics are incredible. i thought so, anyway. and we just got kicked out, so i have to go... Tuesday, January 29, 2002
I am Margot Tenenbaum. Who might you be? actually, i wasn't, but i wanted to be. so i changed it. she's the best. i want to be her. Monday, January 28, 2002
great day. cleaning the basement was a lot more fun than i thought it would be. good people, good music, good food, and we actually got it really, really clean and organized. i'm proud of my techies. though today, i guess they weren't mine, they were Rachel's. sorry, i mean Chief. :) and then good times, and i got home and watched Queer as Folk. gosh, i missed HBO and Showtime and all that yummy stuff. woo. now i'm hyper active, but i'm gonna go shower and sleep anyway. from the speed reading book, i learned how to calm myself! and how to energize, but now i need calm, yes yes yes... Sunday, January 27, 2002
i forgot about the music to Curly Sue, but now that i hear it again, i remember every note. it's good stuff, you know...
is that marita? i'm so confused. eewww, burning guy! and completely unrelated... what time is the rehearsal tomorrow???? AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
what a strange feeling. what a good-ish day. if i had a book, i'd be curled up on my bed with Peachy, reading and looking out the window at the rain making everything a soft, calm gray. as it is, i might just curl up with Peachy and listen to music. i have lines from Breakfast Club in my head, mostly just the ones i posted and the letter read at the beginning, which is different from the one at the end. and it's making me want to cry, in a good way. not sure why. maybe i'm just glad to be a highschool student at the moment. to have these experiences that they make movies about. not exact, of course, and really my school's SO much different from Shermer High School in so many ways, but still. i'm in a weird mood, though, anyway. there's a part of me that's very mixed up right now. you know you've picked a good movie, though, when it affects you a lot. last night, i just suddenly had this urge, and i asked my mom if we could go out and rent the Breakfast Club. and i watched it all the way through, and then went back and watched chapters again. And I feel better. but weird. for a few various reasons, and just because of the weather and such. oh, and i finally go back to my dad's house. i haven't seen my father in two weeks. that's odd to me. i've been at this house too long. but i'm a little used to it at the moment. but that'll pass. and it's a good weekend. no stress at all, no homework, and three whole days of peace. so yeah. overall, it goes back and forth, you know? isn't this great? Thank you, Blogger.
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