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Friday, May 31, 2002
i'd talk to you, but i'd have no idea where to start or what to say. and besides, i don't want to stay online too long or something.
i have not done a thing today. not one. except stupid things like make my bed and watch tv and play minesweeper. and a few unexpected phone calls. my mother is driving me insane, though. she went through everything in my room, even after i told her so many times to ask first. i know it's such a teenage thing, but she should know that, too. she already went through this crap with my brother, you'd think she would remember that my room is my room. but she's clueless and rude and i hate it so much. and then it becomes even more of a teenager thing, because the more she pisses me off the more i want to just piss her off, too, and i just do rude things deliberately. i need to get out of here. even though i have the SAT tomorrow, which i'm going to do really badly on. usually i do well on standardized tests, but not individual subject tests, you know? i'm fucked, is what it boils down to. oh, well. get me out of here...
What She Saw by Lucinda Rosenfeld: "What's wrong with thinking?" Whoa. This is news to me, actually. I just thought about that for a bit. It's a good point. I don't need to worry about things. If I fuck up my life, if I ruin my body, my mind, my school, anything, it doesn't matter. We all die in the end. And if i die early, sure it sucks for everyone else, but for me, it's over. And if I don't, i have more time to do whatever shit i feel like. Hmm. We'll see how long I can keep this mindset. Because it's fucking great.
I have the coolest English teacher in the world: "Hello my friends, I am writing to tell you that Ms. Wagner somehow got a hold of the quote book, burnt it in a pyre in the middle of the field, and informed me that I am no longer allowed within a 40 mile radius of the Marlborough campus. In addition, the LAPD have forbidden me from using the term "lucky underpants" in front of anyone under the age of 22." In a letter to the class regarding our final. If you don't understand any of that... it's fucking hilarious.
I think it'd be cool to be part of the Day of Silence Leadership Team. But I'm not experienced enough. Maybe I'll apply next year, though. If I can do that.
Oh my god, that is the saddest thing I have ever seen!! Oh no. Poor Peachy. He was taken to the vet, and they really did something. They shaved off all the hair around the wound, so now there�s a big bald patch all along his left shoulder blade, and what�s worse, they put a cone around his head so he can�t scratch or lick or anything. He looks so pathetic, and he keeps trying to rub the cone off on a wall or something. There�s a ribbon holding it around his neck, and it dangles there so sadly. I can barely look at him, my poor boy... Thursday, May 30, 2002
i agree, gabrielle. i thought the candles were pretty, too. we looked sort of funny, all dressed alike, but in a weird way, it worked. it's all very odd, the feelings i have for these traditions, and marlborough. all i really know is i plan to wear my ring as long as i can.
Poor Peachy has a large gash on his back, probably from a fight with the other neighborhood cats. Mom�s taking him to the vet tomorrow, but for now it�s just a big wound. It�s so sad, and I wish I could put a band-aid on it or something to make it better. I know it itches, because he keeps trying to lick and scratch it. Poor baby, I hope he doesn�t make it worse. It�ll probably keep him up all night, trying to lick it or otherwise soothe it, but it�s on the top of his back, so he can�t reach, and if he scratches, it could hurt it more. My baby boy, I wish I could do something. Last night, I pulled off a bunch of the hairs on my leg. Just with my fingers. I know you don't want to hear that, but tough. I learned to do that at camp once, about three years ago. It�s almost fun, in this really weird way, and sort of addictive. I remember having to tell Sylvia to stop, since, though the campers didn�t know what she was doing, it might have scared some of the parents. I dreamed last night that there was an alligator in the bathtub. It was a normal sized alligator, but somehow the tub was bigger than it. Also, it wasn�t such an extraordinary thing, it was just like any other animal that sometimes got into the house, though naturally more dangerous. It was a very odd dream. Maybe it stemmed from having the rat inside. Wednesday, May 29, 2002
in honor of my official entrance in to the senior class, pheobe brought me a rat. anyway, i have a ring now, i survived ring ceremony without tripping down the stairs or screwing up the rose/ring exchange. i guess it's pretty cool, really. but i'm tired now, so more on that later...
it's morning, now. i went to coffee bean with edna, and it was fun. then we hung in her car and listened to music with karina and sort of with rachel. that is the latest update. for gabrielle. Tuesday, May 28, 2002
i can't believe i started crying today listening to Great Big Sea. that song always touches me, though. From the first hello...
and no, kaelan, you silly girl, i have three letters to write. one of those was going to be to you in the first place. silly girl...
i regret saying what i did in the car. she didn't need to know. oh, well. too late now. i can only feel bad about it. it's only 9:20, but i have nothing to do, i don't want to watch tv, have nothing to read, and don't particularly need to do anything online right now. i think i may go to sleep pretty soon. ring ceremony is tomorrow. it doesn't seem so important, though i guess i really do want my ring. but it doesn't seem like the big initiation that it should. maybe the party was. but that's not true. i already feel like a senior. our whole class has since the class of 02 left for hawaii. the only thing that will be more official will be the first day of school next year, i think. and the whole ceremony seems really... pointless, or something. all during rehearsal today, i kept wanting to shoot ms. wagner (stand on the X!!!!) and just started cracking up for no reason. when we sang our song, i almost couldn't stop laughing. i don't know how i'm going to survive. and i pity all of the parents who just have to sit through the whole thing. oh, well. i'll live. and then i'll have a ring and be a senior. woohoo. four more days of school, including finals and the last day. i need to figure out how to study for spanish, but that's it. hey, alana, i hear you have some sort of "Everything You Need to Know About Spanish" guide or something. is this true? ok, that's really it. off to sleep, maybe...
there is a definite difference in the two of them. she... i will love her for ever. she was perfection, the greatest thing that could happen to me. i gave it up, but it didn't work at the time, the timing was wrong, things were different. who knows how the future will be, but, while i miss her so much, i don't regret that it ended. because there's still something there, even if nothing ever happens. i couldn't explain it in the car, nor do i think i can now. but she is incredible, and i will never get over that. and i don't want to. and it's such a huge difference. but it doesn't matter. Monday, May 27, 2002
I need to hand-write three letters sometime in the next few days. Must remember that. I tried typing them, but it didn't work.
i had fun today, even if our movie going plans were doomed. but we shall still have to see spiderman at some point. anyway, i hope you're not in too much trouble, but from the look of things when you left, chances are you are. sorry. but i'm glad you came over, anyway. i had fun. overall, my weekend was rather pleasant. i'm in denial that there is school tomorrow, though, but i'll deal with it. now i need to figure out what to bring for food tomorrow. hmm... Sunday, May 26, 2002
What a weekend. On Friday night, I went to a play. It wasn�t the most exciting play , but the sets and lights were cool, and it was entertaining enough. Then on Saturday, I got to spend the day with my brother and Ms. Powers, and saw Star Wars, which was all very cool, especially hearing about the girl my brother likes, because as weird as it is to think of my brother like that, he never talks to me about that stuff, and it's cool. Then that night I saw fabulous friends and fun improv, and spent a wonderful night with wonderful people. Then today. We went to the Laker game, my dad and me, and Camilo and his girlfriend. The Lakers got murdered in the first half. The Kings had scored 40 points in the first quarter, which, in case you don�t pay attention to basketball, is a lot. The Lakers were down by 24. In the third quarter, they managed to get their game back a little, and keep the gap to around ten points for the majority. Generally, they were playing pretty badly, and the amount of fouls called was pitiful. In the last ten minutes, though, they managed to bring it up to four or five points behind. And then� Shaq got fouled, and miracle of miracles, made both free throws. The Lakers were down by three, with less than 24 seconds left. The Kings had the ball, but we got it back, and brought it to our basket. Lakers shot� missed. Got the rebound, and missed again. I couldn�t watch, we had only one second left, the ball was way far past the three point line. But Robert Horry got it, and made a last chance shot, the kind of shot that only goes in for the greatest /and/ luckiest team in the world. By the way, the Lakers are the greatest and luckiest team in the world. As the last millisecond counted off, the ball went in to end the game, Lakers 100, Kings 99. I love LA. Thank you, Blogger.
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